Thursday, May 22, 2014

Day 41: Apply for a knighthood

Instructions: Don't remain plain old Mr. or Mrs. J Schmoe all your life. To become a Knight or a Dame, simply write to the British Prime Minister c/o  the Prime Minister's Office, 10 Downing St, London SW1A 2AA, United Kingdom. Explain what exceptional achievement or service you feel merits the award of a knighthood. Previous successful applicants have used the following, just to give you an idea: been head nurse for 60 years, Nobel Peace Prize winner, raised millions for obscure charity, served in minor government position for whole life, won WWII, saved cat from extra-tall tree. Even better get the President to recommend you.

The honors ceremony takes place on the Queen's Birthday. So make sure you keep it free! US citizens please note: Non-subjects may not style themselves Sir or Dame, though they may place the appropriate letters after their name.

Notes: How can one person win a war? And did someone really get knighted for saving a cat - I had to research this. And by research I mean I googled it and only looked on the first page of results :) I did not find any evidence of said cat saver :) I was kind of dreading devoting time to this task, but am pleased with my resulting letter (copy text below image).  I thought going the hand-written route would be a nice change of pace (plus I'm out of printer ink).

Letter text:

Mr. Cameron,

I am writing to ask your consideration for damehood. I am not particularly special. Not exceptionally intelligent. I’m just a quirky girl following the suggestions of a silly book (This Book Will Change Your Life by publisher Benrik) to see if it helps me, as Thoreau said, “to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.” If you refuse my request – no matter – I, like Dorian Corey, am learning to content myself with less these days.  Corey’s wise words from the documentary Paris is Burning come to mind. He said, “I always had hopes of being a big star. But as you get older, you aim a little lower. Everybody wants to make an impression, some mark upon the world. Then you think, you've made a mark on the world if you just get through it, and a few people remember your name. Then you've left a mark. You don't have to bend the whole world. I think it's better to just enjoy it. Pay your dues, and just enjoy it. If you shoot an arrow and it goes real high, hooray for you.” If you do grant my request, you will in some way, I suppose, be honoring all the ordinary people just hoping to make it through the day hurting as few as possible and squirreling away as many happy moments as we/they can.

Kristina Ambrosia-Conn
7439 Saint John Court
Mentor, OH 44060

P.S. My mother-in-law is a Brit if that helps my cause!